Cosmetologist's Log: The transporter malfunctions A LOT, but what's a body to do? 

Cosmetologist's Log: I am the world's okayest ukulelest! I also play many alien instruments. Of course I use the word "play" loosely. I play at playing. And, I might add, everyone is a critic. 

Cosmetologist's Log: We get all kinds in Salonbay. I've recently had a lot of one of a kind customers; you know the Last of their species. You want to look good when you're endangered. The upside is you set your own beauty standards at that point. 

Cosmetologist's Log: Note to self, always remember to put the safety on your phaser when you store it away. You've ruined way too may wigs.